This post will be incoherent and lack all structural integrity. Cuz it’s like jello, except you don’t eat it and it doesn’t come in multiple colors.

20121029-093354.jpgThat’s my cat. He’s as close to owning a pet alien as you can get. He hangs from the cat tower (or my car’s ceiling) by his hind legs like a bat. He chirps at birds. I assume in an attempt to trick them into thinking he’s also a bird (and then he can eat them). We declawed him in the front, so he learned to stand on his front legs and Thumper-kick people/cats/ baby leprichans (long story) with his hind legs.

I mean, look at him. He looks like an alien.

I’ve spent the last two days making turkeys tropical. For a billboard. For my job.  They don’t make tropical turkey clip art, so I also made sunglasses and glued them to the turkey. Don’t believe me?

Booyah!

I’ve also been watching a weird television show called The Hunger, which Netflix describes as a Horror Anthology. Yeah, no.

It’s Horror Porn. Every episode includes graphic sex, boobies, and bush. Thrusting abounds. I didn’t know you could put that on tv in 1997 (which is apparently when this aired).

p.s. chick who is in one of these episodes. If you dye your hair that blond, perhaps you should dye a few other things. Quite jolting, I must say.

I tried to describe it to someone and the best I could do is

“Well, it’s weird. At first you’re like ‘hell yeah boobies. Hot boobies. Hot sex. I’m kinda hor- OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT????? MY EYES!!! OMG I’M NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN!!!’ yeah”

And that’s about as accurate as it gets. I’d include pictures, but I don’t want to be responsible for the immediate cessation of human reproduction.

Basically think of this

But with great tits, fabulous hair, and with your wiener inside her. If you don’t have a wiener then be happy. So far the worst that’s happened to you in the series is you’ve been stabbed to death/possessed by a sex-crazed wheelchair bound granny who painted your face to look like the crow and stuck you in an awkward flesh suit corset thing that will forever live on in my nightmares.

And oh yeah, I got a kitten :)

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. CrakGenius
    Nov 08, 2012 @ 15:02:32

    Holy shit… yeah. That lacked structure all right.

    But, wow, I’m UBER jealous that you have a hairless cat. Please tell me you named it fluffy! Also, your kitten is cute. My house is full of kitteny cuteness as well with 3 little mewers frolicking about.

    Reply

    • psychofab
      Nov 08, 2012 @ 15:10:46

      I would never lie about my blogging structure. Actually his name is Yoda and the tiny one is Misfit. I also have two rescues named Mishka and Nibbler.

      Reply

  2. JohnnyNo
    Nov 09, 2012 @ 15:46:57

    Luv the kitten! Longhaired? Those can be a bitch for furniture. Having just found homes for two cats and a dog, I’m down to four cats now. Not that I’m a crazy cat lady ( altho I guess I am ), but the strays seem to know how to find me. And my friends know better than to even mention the pound to me by now.
    True story– I came home one night to find a huge bag of cat food on my porch. I’m like WTF! Inside, in the kitchen, are two strange kittens playing with a shitload of new kitty toys. I just figured some friend or neighbor felt guilty and knew I’d keep them.
    Later, I found a THIRD one on my desk in the back bedroom, pooping on some papers!

    Reply

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