Because DAMNIT I’M RIGHT

Ok. So….my mind is boggled right now. Just fucking boggled, people. Now, everyone is familiar with the situation where you’ve cut your hair or done something equally change-like to part of your body and no one notices, but what do you do when you’ve done absolutely nada and people hallucinate changes?

Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? You just go “Nope, nothing different.” and they move on?

Right?

HELL NO they don’t move on. I don’t know what it is about me, but when i give simple statements like

No I’m not pregnant.

My hair is naturally red.

I didn’t get a haircut.

People feel more inclined to argue than just go “huh, it looks different. I like/hate/wish to spit upon it”

I’m just sitting here, minding my own business and looking up thermometers for the R&R peeps when a lady, who walks by my desk approximately a bajillion times a day, stops and goes

Crazy Person (that I don’t know is crazy yet): “You got your hair cut!”

and I go “huh?” Not really. Occasionally I have slightly more presence of mind and am able to form full sentences. What I actually did was go, no not really, but I am wearing it different today. Should’ve ended there right? Fuck no! Because we are dealing with human beings here, the people who will argue against straight-up facts just because DAMNIT I’M RIGHT.

Crazy Person: “Nuh uh, you cut your hair. I can tell. It’s different”

Me: “No, really.”

Crazy Person: “Yes You did.” runs out of view and grabs some other person. “Look, isn’t her hair cut differently?”

This is where the second person stares at my head horribly confused because, people, my hair’s the exact motherfuckin same as it has been for three months.

Normal Person: “It looks about the same to me. Looks nice though” (obviously this person is more on the sane spectrum of things)

Crazy Person: “No, it’s definitly shorter.”

And instead of accepting defeat, she just walks away to leave the second chick staring at my head.
Just to point out, I straightened my hair today. So, in fact, it is longer than it usually appears.

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