I Am Apparently in Need of an Intervention

Apparently my leg bruises look like the bruises of an abused spouse. Or this is what I’m told.
Coworker: oh my god! What happened to your legs!
Me: huh? Oh, I don’t really know.
Coworker: should I be concerned?

Me: *Confused laughter* uh no. I just bruise easy.

Coworker: hey *name censored* look! She gets married and now she’s covered in bruises!

Me: um. I just bruise easy.

Coworker: I think maybe we need an intervention.

You know what’s sad? I’m not sure she was kidding. Next time I should just be like “oh that? I should’ve known better than to make him angry. Wire hangers always hurt worse…”

I mean, when did it become a thing for people who barely know each others first names to make awkwardly long jokes about a husband beating his wife?

Also, stop checking out my legs! Ya perv.

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