I Am Not Your Therapist, Sweetie

I believe every office has one, or will acquire one shortly,  that one woman (or man, though to be fair it is usually a woman) who absolutely exhausts you with their conversation. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or how busy they are, they feel the need to give you disturbing insight into their life every time they pass your desk.

They are compulsive talkers, and our office just gained one. So far I have been regailed with tails regarding her love of juicing (It just does wonders for you colon), her workout routine (Yoga), her family( she is quite frustrated with you), her well thought out decision regarding whether or not she would wear glasses that day (She doesn’t like it if they don’t match her outfit)…etc.

These are the people who can’t do anything without commentary. Let me explain. Our office is a rectangle. One long pathway stretches from the West to the East that allows access to all of the offices, cubes, and break room.  Every day, anyone who works here trails a pathway down this hall probably a good 20 times a day. Most people do this without comment, but not her.

“I need running shoes for this”

“Back and forth back and forth is all I do”

“This gets old”

“Hello again” (she says this usually three times in a row before she gets bored with it)

“They need to change this floor plan”

At this point, I think I may start booby trapping the part right before my desk so that when she walks by, instead of yelling “Hello again” she will go “He-” and faceplant into the carpet.

Also, don’t ask for her number. Despite being an English speaking caucasian female, and knowing very little spanish, she will insist on giving it to you in Spanish.

Who is your compulsive talker?


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. nosleepandcrazy
    Sep 12, 2012 @ 21:47:09

    HAHAHAHA. I so do NOT miss this


  2. normalfornorfolk
    Sep 13, 2012 @ 00:59:19

    urgh! I know what you mean..That’s why when someone like that appears at my office door, I insist they stand just outside so I can kung fo kick the door closed when I am bored with them…We have this temp working for us at the moment and he is our version of this woman…he started the week telling us all about an operation he had on his balls when he was a child…anyway, long story short, he is a real drama queen, so when he appeared in my office doorway yesterday to inform me he had been sick, I took great delight in telling him I would have to send him home and he couldn’t come back until he was 48 hours clear…Ah, the joys of working in food manufacturing…he was not happy at the thought of losing money, but the lesson learned for him is not to tell fibs….heehee…


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