MNAAAA Sound Effects Included

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So I’m married. I believe I’ve mentioned this once or twice in the past posts, dear readers, but I thought I would be a little more specific.

I’m married to a man most people know as Squid. Who has a rather rough and spotty reputation. He is whole inches shorter than me, and walks with what my sister and I can only refer to as swag.

He is quiet, and in a word, Broody. He looks like satan himself in photos due to the inability to not look pissed off when caught off guard, and random police officers from where he grew up recognize him still today, 6 years later.

He knows way too much about sniper rifles and knives, and will sit unashamed and happily watch a marathon of Sailor Moon. He will even sit through Sex and the City, though he won’t be quite as happy about it.

But absolutely none of that is who he is.

I found this out, and began to fall in love with him, due to rather odd circumstances. One of the things people don’t instantly see about my husband is his silliness. His ability to immitate a Gir voice, to wiggle dance upon command because it makes me laugh, his random acts of lick assault.

Yeah, lick assault.

The first time I really had an epiphany about this man, the thought that I may not be dealing with exactly what I thought I was dealing with, came a random night when we first started dating. We were watching cheesy movies on the SciFi channel, and he, with no warning and in no uncertain terms rolled over and licked my face.

And I mean LICKED. Full on, entire tongue, MNAAAAAA sound effects, licked a trail of saliva up the side of my face damn near to my hairline. And then he burst out laughing.

In shock, and only able to think of one revenge that would counter the spitty assault upon my cheek, I pinned him and licked his eyeball.

Not his eyelid.

His exposed, salty, probably never to be the same, eyeball. And he didn’t dump me for it.

It’s very strange the kinds of things which endear you to a person.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JohnnyNo
    Oct 20, 2012 @ 23:26:16

    I had a boyfriend in high school who liked to lick me; face, nose, hand-any body part actually. I guess he thought it was endearing or something, but it really just irritated me. Eventually, every time he licked me I punched him really hard on the arm. It didn’t last long, he was pretty much an asshole.
    On a weirder note- I was seeing this guy a few years ago, and after a number of dates we ended up in bed. Not to be too explicit, but, as he was kissing my boobs, he leaned over and licked my ARMPIT!! I’m like WTF, did he mean to do that? And then he LICKED IT AGAIN!! And said something like ‘mmm tasty’. Now that’s just strange.

    Reply

    • psychofab
      Oct 22, 2012 @ 09:24:15

      Wow. I can honestly say I’ve never had anyone lick my armpit. I’m pretty sure it would send me into a catatonic state of shock, since I’m fairly ocd about shaving my armpits and always in fear of stubble.

      Reply

      • JohhnyNo
        Oct 23, 2012 @ 21:11:45

        I know, right? To be fair, I had just taken a shower, but still, ughh. And as a final strike against him, his licking tendencies never went past my navel area!! lol

      • psychofab
        Oct 24, 2012 @ 11:46:30

        Now that’s just selfish lol If he can deal with the possibility of armpit stubble he should be able to deal with anything.

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