FUPA Fabulous

This is a conversation I once had with a friend regarding her vagina. We shall call her Poodles.

Poodles: I need to lose weight. I’m getting a FUPA.

Me: What exactly is a FUPA?

Poodles: Fat. Upper. Pussy. Area.

Me: That’s a thing? I didn’t know there was a term for that.

Poodles: It is.

Me: We need to use this to our advantage.

Poodles: My FUPA?

Me: YES! I mean, some people are probably born with Fupas, and what do they do? We have all these people walking around shamed of their FUPA. We could write a self-help book. “Learning to Love Your FUPA”

Poodles: “Living With a Stubborn FUPA”

Me: “FUPAs of the Rich and Famous”

Poodles: “FUPAs Need Love Too”

Me: And what if they want to disguise it? “Hairstyles for the Snazzy FUPA” It could have pictures, and a step-by-step shaving techniques. Spencers would totally sell a FUPA Style Guide. We could design a line of FUPA masking belts, for the discreet FUPA owner.

Poodles: And we could go on Oprah or Dr. Phil, and talk about FUPA Power.

Me: Work the FUPA!

Poodles: What about guys? They probably have this problem too. Fat Upper Dick Area. Makes the penis seem little.

Me: We could start an online dating community! “Handsome FUDAs looking for Sexy FUPAs”

Poodles: YES!!!

Me: and we can make merchandise! T-shirts that say “FUPA Power” and “You Can’t Handle the FUPA”

Poodles: We will be rich! Create a FUPA empire!

At this point I began texting a friend of mine whom we shall name Camo. Instead of telling me I am weird and both of us need therapy, he suggested FUPA phanny packs. And specialized sex toys made to fit a FUDA comfortably.


The FUPA Brigade, coming to a convention center near you!


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. normalfornorfolkblog
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 11:43:08

    You have given a whole new meaning to the comb over. There would so be a market for this! And of course, I shall work on a FUPA sized BlingRing…


  2. nosleepandcrazy
    Oct 06, 2012 @ 09:07:08

    I wants a FUPA t-shirt


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