You know It’s Chaffing

Work is absolutely enjoyable.

No, really.

I mean, I get to sit at my desk and smile politely at people who refuse to wear their damn badge so they can actually get in.

I get to drink coffee, and hope it hasn’t been in the pot for the entire day.

I get to have akward small talk with people who feel they have the right to know intimate details of my marriage.

I get to dress up in a suit and pretend I wouldn’t have facial peircings and visible tattoos if people would just stop being assholes and judging from looks.

I get to cut out about 750 “lifesavers”

Yea. Did you know you can actaully bruise your fingers from using scissors for too long? You totally can. Right now, if anything so much as brushes the sides of my fingers it’s enough to make me jump outta my desk and scream. And to top it all off, I’m on about my 100th lifesaver and I suddenly think about how, if these scissors were alive, I’d basically been giving the most vigorous hand job ever, for about two hours.

I can’t decide if I should be disturbed at my scissor’s perceived perversion, or apologetic because…well, I mean come on. Two hours and you know there’d be chafing.

And maybe a little bleeding…

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JohhnyNo
    Oct 05, 2012 @ 15:19:16

    If you’re giving out “handjobs” at work, I’d think someone should at LEAST bring you fresh coffee. LOL

    And, I’m not sure what you mean by lifesavers, but scissors totally give me blisters.

    Reply

    • psychofab
      Oct 06, 2012 @ 19:02:19

      lifesavers like those things lifeguard toss at you when you’re drowning. It’s “Go Live” at work. so technically they are ” Go LiveSavers” Cute, eh? lol

      Reply

  2. nosleepandcrazy
    Oct 06, 2012 @ 09:23:47

    If your scissors got off, just imagine your xbox controller….

    Reply

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