Hey I know I met you like 7 years ago and we never talked, but you should totally drive like 10 hours to come see me this weekend.

Ex’s of friends never really go away.

At least they don’t when they’re from Bardstown. You see, something like 7 years ago I had two friends H and A, who started dating some guys from the area. They made….interesting first impressions, to say the least. One of them allowed us to straighten his hair before putting it into about a hundred tiny little ponytails (We were freshman, what else were we gonna do?) . The other was convinced A’s floor wasn’t real wood and for some reason thought slamming his head against it would be the best way to test his theory. Not to mention one had a corn yellow afro…

I only saw them maybe once or twice while they were actually dating my friends, but IM screen names were exchanged and cell numbers tossed about. A few months later neither friend was dating the same people. Months passed.

And then I’d get a text. From H’s  or A’s exboyfriend, whom I shall call Puppy and Corn ‘Fro. One or the other would randomly pop back into my daily life for no apparent reason except, I suspect, extreme levels of boredom.

These two oddballs ended up being regular fixtures in my life, coming to plays, parties, randomly appearing at the mall. Sometimes we wouldn’t talk for a full year and one of them would randomly call and see what’s up.

All this leads up to the day when Puppy, along with like five other people drove into Louisville and camped out behind my school waiting for me to get out of class.

Now, in order to give you a decent idea of the ragtag group forming on the precipice of this uptight institution’s property, I shall include the fact that the school’s administration assumed these boys were from a correctional facility right down the road.

It’s true. When I attempted to exit the building my shoulders were grasped by the assistant principal herself who, I’m fairly certai, was near frothing at the mouth over the possibility that someone besides Private School boys were within eyesight.

I don’t really remember who all was there that day. I know it was Puppy, Corn Afro, possibly this strange person they call Beaner, and John.

As in the one I married.

I met John like seven years ago, but due to the fact that he looked more likely to stab at me with a pointy object than shake my hand, we didn’t exactly talk much.

We didn’t exactly talk when Puppy brought him to my play a year later either.

Or when I went to his birthday party three-ish years ago.

You see he has this bad habit of looking super pissed off for no apparent reason. It doesn’t make the best first impression. It took us six years to actually spit out a few sentences around each other, and I’m fairly certain if I hadn’t been in a cleaning panic we probably would have continued without speaking. 6 years of random run-ins and introductions, and not one word.

Now I can’t make him shut up.

By the time we actually started talking he was living upteen hours away in Arkansas. But what’s a little 10 hour drive right?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. nosleepandcrazy
    Nov 12, 2012 @ 09:45:01

    You my dear are worth the 10 hours and more, he was just smart enough to figure that out.

    Reply

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