If you really call them Honey Pear Boo Boo Babycakes, then your insanity has reached levels beyond my comprehension.

I would like to just get this out there. You know how when people find a boyfriend/girlfriend/beautimous unicorn, and suddenly they can’t go anywhere unless he/she/beautimous unicorn can go?


Cut that shit out.

You have two separate sets of legs (assuming you aren’t in some weird incestuous relationship with your Siamese twin. If you are, how does the sex work, exactly?). Use them every once in awhile. Branch out. Reach for the motherfuckin stars, I don’t care. Just don’t sit at home like a damn hermit because your Honey Pear Boo Boo Babycakes has to work that night. It’s annoying to your friends and indicates a rather serious codependent mind-set that, as someone who only wants the best for you, I think  maybe needs to get electroshocked out of you.

I am just as guilty as the next human-shaped blob of cells of wanting my significant other around, but if he has the flu on my sister’s birthday, sorry dude. Here’s some Advil and I’ll be home around midnight.

Just saying.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JohhnyNo
    Oct 25, 2012 @ 21:55:46

    Totally agree!!
    Sadly, this is almost always women. It’s like all of the sudden they’re nothing without their ” man”. Love is awesome, but if you turn yourself into a clone of the other person, it’s just ridiculous. Plus, most guys I know would have no problem leaving the little woman home alone for a night out with the boys.


    • psychofab
      Oct 26, 2012 @ 09:27:51

      My friend who has fallen into this pattern is actually a guy! And somehow that makes it even worse because it’s even more confusing! Now, I will admit that if my guy can go, i like him to go. But I will also admit that the first Valentines Day we had together I ended up at a hookah bar with three single friends instead of him because he had a cold and was sleeping. I chose hookah and french fries over curling up at the end of the bed lamenting my pathetic-ness. Sue me lol


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