The Plague is Upon Us, and it smells of mac and cheese.

So, I had a rather roller-coaster weekend. Friday night was great. My headache eased up somewhat. It was fantastic.

Saturday day, was not so fantastic in that we went to the in-laws and I spent a large portion of the visit wearing sunglasses passed out in the back bedroom. What the migraine giveth, the migrain taketh the fuck away.

I started to recover in time to go to dinner with everyone, Golden Corral, which was situated firmly in Timbuck-fucking-two.  I have no idea why this was their restaurant of choice. We literally drove like an hour to get back home. Along the way, seeing as Timbuck-fucking-two is situation on Dixie in Elizabethtown (Yeah, like the place from the movie) five bazillion strip clubs and porn stores.

John: Look, another strip club.

Me: Books, DVD’s, and Peeps. OOOH THEY HAVE PEEPS HONEY. I want some peeps. The yellow kind.

John: I’m not sure that’s what they mean…

Me: Peeps. That’s what peeps are. Marshmallowy goodness. If they don’t have peeps it’s false advertising.

John: What do you think they look like at a strip club? Little peep vaginas?

Me: Sounds about right. Or little peep strippers, with those creepy little brown dots for eyes. Stripper Peeps!

The best part about a stripper peep, is that when you put them in the microwave they get fat and explode. Or actually…I think that’s what’s great about marshmallows in general.

But aside from this small excerpt of our lives, Saturday night was evil. I get home and feel nauseous as fuck, so I take a phenargin (that’s probably misspelled and I’m too lazy to Google). Well it seems to be doing the job so I go to lay down.

Yeah…no. 6AM and I’m up puking in the bathroom. So dizzy that when I close my eyes it feels like the world is shaking back and forth .

And no, I am not pregnant.

My body is just rebelling against me in evil ways untold. After the puking of course comes the all-over body aches, the whimpering in the shower, the freezing, the burning up, and the never-ending choice between starvation or just eating that fucking sandwich and possibly puking again.

I ate the fucking sandwich.

I puked.

Then I ate the cheese sticks. Because I was hungry, bitchez.

Also, from here until further notice I will not be partaking of either cheetohs or mac and cheese. Throwing up either one of those things in unpleasant. Throwing up both? Yeah….

P.S. I’m sorry to my husband, who was awakened by the comforting sounds of vomit about 6 inches from his head. I really, really tried not to use the bucket, because then you would have to clean said bucket. I just….failed. Horribly.

Advertisements

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. newbie
    Nov 13, 2012 @ 10:49:17

    So sorry for you. Been there, done that. The best rescue drug I’ve had is maxalt mlt. It actually works, and fast. Also, magnesium is great for a preventative. Weird fact; did you know migraines and bipolar go together often? Just what we need, more pain and unseen problems!

    Reply

    • psychofab
      Nov 13, 2012 @ 13:45:50

      I am not shocked at all. Bipolar manages to screw with every other part of our brain, why not the part that makes us want to put a pick axe through our eyeball to stop the pain lol

      Reply

  2. normalfornorfolkblog
    Nov 13, 2012 @ 13:33:31

    I feel your pain! Big hugs. 😦

    Reply

  3. jeneralinsanity
    Nov 14, 2012 @ 15:00:39

    I’m sorry that you have the black death. It’s gross and should be banished.
    I was trying to think of something awesome to say about tissues and puke buckets, but I can’t stop picturing pink sugar coated marshmallow vaginas exploding in the microwave. So you just get that visual. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful…

    Reply

  4. nosleepandcrazy
    Nov 18, 2012 @ 05:46:01

    I really really really am 100% sure that if we went to new york SOMEONE there would have some weird shop that could make peep vaginas… oh yeah, it could happen.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: