And So the Gerbils Came, and the DOOM box filled aplenty.

So it really does appear that the plague is upon us, since I’ve seen a dozen posts about being sick, sneezing, and or giving up on existence due to the INTENSE pressure that can build up in your nasal cavities.

And so I had a small comments-section based discussion with Normal for Norfolk about how whoever gave us this particular plague (possibly started by Gerbils: The Bringers of Death) needs major revenge rained down upon them.

So here’s my idea.

20121113-140426.jpg

 

The Doom Box 2012 (almost 13) yeah, so I just came up with this so I don’t have a REAL doom box yet, but I promise you it’s coming.

The idea is that every time you get sick you will hug this lovely little box as close to your body as possible. You will cough on it. You will rest your used tissues upon it so as not to stain the couch. You will weep tears of despair upon that bitch and when you are done, you will set it calmly upon a shelf and wait.

And when you next meet someone who has annoyed you, picked on you for being ill, or possibly given you the disease in the first place, you will gift it to them.

Inside, they will find these things:

One dose of Advil. Nighttime only.

A pack of tissues, preferably non-moisturized.

And a detailed list of all the symptoms the happy owner can expect.

It’s the gift that keeps on fucking giving. And now it’s yours. Merry Thanksgiving, because it isn’t Christmas yet so  STOP PLAYING CHRISTMAS CAROLS. The end.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jeneralinsanity
    Nov 14, 2012 @ 14:53:36

    Apparently I missed an amazing conversation. Damn it!
    I really like your idea. This would be the perfect gift for that office asshole that purposely go and steals your spot in the parking lot when you go on a bank run. He’s a dick, and completely deserves whatever the most recent form of the plague is going around. It’s the new “IT” gift for someone who already has everything. Including Normal For Norfolk’s cat turd in a box gift set.

    Reply

  2. nosleepandcrazy
    Nov 18, 2012 @ 05:49:16

    I think someone gave that pillow to me a loooooong time ago and I just forgot it fell under the bed or something…. cause I gets the plague a lot. Sadness

    Reply

  3. normalfornorfolkblog
    Nov 19, 2012 @ 12:51:25

    Excellent idea! You will be impressed (or not) to hear that I have spent the last four days spreading my plague around New York…YOU’RE SO WELCOME AMERICA!

    Reply

    • psychofab
      Nov 19, 2012 @ 15:26:01

      I do not live in New York, therefore I am at peace with your plague spreading lol

      Reply

      • normalfornorfolkblog
        Nov 21, 2012 @ 12:34:03

        Meh, that’s what I figured as well, if I could get rid of it there…I could get rid of it anywhere….I’ve made you all ill in NEW YORK…NEEWWWWW YOOOORRRRRKKK..Thank you very much..Normal for Norfolk has left the building…

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