The Ponies Stole My Creativity. The Bastards.

It would appear I am out of creativity. It’s gone. Dried up and turned into that annoying dust that’s just impossible to get out of the cracks in your floor.

I am an empty shell.

Well, except for the approximately 3o pounds of food I’ve consumed in the last four days and a few vital organs tucked here and there.

But mostly empty.

It is a tragic thing to happen, and I am not sure when it shall pass. Perhaps I should Google pictures of kittens for inspiration? Or maybe ponies. Maybe not. Maybe ponies are what stole my creativity, and right now they are out in some golden field somewhere frolicking, as that’s what I believe ponies to do, writing 150 page poems that creatively exhibit the use of iambic pentameter.

Fuck those ponies.

The future is uncertain.

No, really. It’s like totally uncertain. Which is, in reality, probably why I am lacking in the creativity department. Stress is a major soul drain and you can’t have much creativity without a properly functioning soul.

And I am just filled to the brim with stress. Things just don’t seem to be what they were supposed to be and I feel very stuck. I’m going to get back into school soon but I can’t seem to push back the fear that I will never really get anywhere. That things will never really change.

I have to start looking for a job right after Christmas. It’s starting to feel like having two people in a household steadily working is a near impossible goal.

I’m just exhausted with it. Too exhausted to be sarcastically funny about it. I used up all my funny talking about ponies. That was the all of it, and that’s just sad because, really, ponies are more cute than funny.

Let’s just face it. There’s nothing funny about being jobless. there just really isn’t.

It just sucks, man. Sucks hard.

So in the meantime I’ll just keep moving as though I see something attainable over the horizon, even though I don’t. I’ll do my best to absorb Christmas cheer, even though it seems in short supply. I’ll try not to randomly burst into tears over things people have no clue are happening.

Wish me luck. Oh, here’s a picture of my Christmas tree. Told you I was doing my best to absorb the cheer.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jeneralinsanity
    Nov 26, 2012 @ 11:21:53

    Being jobless DOES suck hard. So does stress and uncertainty. I’ve been in that boat since August, and it constantly feels like we’re about to be capsized and eaten by sharks. Thank the Easter Bunny that we rent from Manchild’s mom. We’d have been living in a box under a bridge somewhere by now. (Although, that WOULD fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a troll under a bridge and charging people money or their first born to cross. Babies are delicious.)

    Just don’t forget to breathe.

    On the plus side – the pony thing was pretty damn funny…

    Reply

    • psychofab
      Nov 26, 2012 @ 11:24:54

      *sigh* At least I’ll always have the pony thing. And as for the troll occupation, the downside would probably be that you’d never get money, only babies, because few people carry cash nowadays. Babies may be tasty, but anything gets old if you eat it every day.

      Reply

  2. nosleepandcrazy
    Dec 10, 2012 @ 05:26:36

    The pony thing was funny. And kill the ponies for taking your funny…. they shit too much anyways

    Reply

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