It may not be pretty, but at least there aren’t Siffels living in it.

So, for the first time I’ve really taken a look at the search terms which have brought people to my blog.

Most of them are easily connected to something I’ve written.

Hand jobs

Kirby Penis

paperclip boners

Bipolar Disorder

But then there’s some that concern me. For example, why are so many people Googling “plants in my vagina”?

Honey, whoever you are, please listen to me. You should not have a plant in your vagina. You should not have a plant growing in/on/or around your vagina. You should not be storing plants in your vagina. Do not Google it. Go to a doctor. Like now. Because while I highly doubt there is an actual plant all up in there, if there’s something that looks like a plant all up in there, that’s not normal.

Also, either a Siffel is a thing that I’ve just never heard of because I’m not one of the cool kids, or somebody horribly misspelled Syphilis. Now, there’s a couple scenarios where someone might google

“Photos of Siffels on vagina”

One being that they are a Sex Ed teacher, who failed English and Spelling, but seriously wants to warn kids about the dangers of Syphilis.

Two being that a Siffel is a term I’ve never heard of, possibly pertaining to jewelry or maybe an exotic breed of crabs.

Three being that whoever Googled that is probably some 15 year old horn dog who thinks they’ve contracted Syphilis. This is much like the “plant vagina” lady….don’t Google it. GO TO A DOCTOR.

Now for the weird ones….

“Ageist Foot Fucking”

and “Incestuous Relationship Pics”

I just…I…I don’t know. I certainly don’t feature foot fucking on my blog. If I did they wouldn’t be elderly feet. I guess my question here is,


Why do you want to see that? What is that? Is it like a foot job? Did you mean foot job? Surely this isn’t a thing.

Nevermind, I don’t want to know. Same goes for the Incest one. Whoever you are….just no. Also, what’s the point in Googling that? Do they, like, post their birth certificates next to the photos to prove they are related? Because that’s pretty much the only way I see you getting any guarantee with that one.

Just really. I’m a little concerned right now.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JohnnyNo
    Dec 03, 2012 @ 19:06:36

    That plant thing prolly is about your post about hiding weed down there. But when I was a kid, my older brother totally convinced me apples would grow in my stomach if I swallowed them.


    • JohnnyNo
      Dec 03, 2012 @ 19:14:23

      And. There’s a friend of my sister I sometimes have to email. Maybe twice a year or so. No matter what the emails are about ( once it was a birthday party, another time it was about a vacation trip), he always follows up by asking me to send him pics of my feet!!!!! WTF


  2. nosleepandcrazy
    Dec 10, 2012 @ 05:55:22

    I have a porn with a foot job, I watched it once, and once was enough. I fast forward through that now and the only reason I did not throw it out or donate it…. can you donate porn? anyways I still have it cause Katey Morgan is in it… LOVE her…. even if she has uneven boobs. Long as mine stay even, I am good…. but … yeah I am good.


  3. Errol Beady
    Dec 16, 2012 @ 17:25:12

    Not what I was looking for but awesome anyway! Nice one!


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