The Other Foot is Called Job Hunting

As it gets closer and closer to March 1st, the day of my job going poof, I get more and more nervous.

This isn’t really surprising. In fact, it would probably be a sign of insanity if I wasn’t a little wigged out about the possibility of unemployment, but that doesn’t mean I like it. Or that I’m dealing with it well.

Hello stress induced nightmares! Long time no see, how lovely of you to drop in you vicious mother fuckers.

I’ve filled out applications. Numerous a day.  For hours a day. For jobs I know I am qualified for, and that I would actually like, but I have yet to hear anything back.

I’ve gotten a few calls from other temp agencies, but when I go in they’ve basically told me I’m over qualified for the current open positions.

What???

Look, I don’t care if a one armed monkey with mild schizophrenic delusions could do that job, just GIVE ME THE JOB. I NEED A JOB. I have bills and goals and schooling to get too.

Not to mention I don’t really like just sitting at home all day. As much as I whine about having to go to work, I’m really an over-all healthier person when I have a job to do, somewhere to be, some responsibility. What can I say…I’m quirky like that.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen if you give me a job I’m over qualified for?

I could….be totally awesome at it. I could…get bored and spontaneously clean the hell out of the office or organize a stock closet. I mean, really, this is a win-win here.

Come on…pretty please?

The whole process is just exhausting. Every application asks the same things, so you type the same things 50 times. And have I mentioned I hate online applications?

Look, I don’t like going out on a limb in public. Walking into a building unannounced to start the job application process would be a hurdle for me. It was when I first started looking for a job back in the years of teenhood, but I did it. And I prefer it. Jobs that you apply for in person allow you to present yourself as what you would be at the job. You can talk to them, give them an idea of your ability to interact on a professional level, let them hear your speaking voice (which is good as long as ya dun tak lyk dis and also applicable when you’re applying for a job such as receptionist). It  lets them see that you can present yourself in a professional way. It has advantages.

Anyone can type anything on an online form. Their mom could do it for them. Then, they show up and, despite their perfectly worded resume,  you notice they have a lovely G-String fetish that might be considered inappropriate for the office.

That’s not fiction.

Part of a previous job was to go through current applications and weed out the ones that were obviously not cut out for the job.

You know the ones… the people who use text speak on their applications, don’t fill out sections clearly labeled mandatory, have absolutely atrocious spelling. Also, the ones who showed up looking like their current job includes a pole and bass-thumping music.

The smarter of the bad application filler-outers ( oh yeah, I went there)  would pick up the application and return later. I saw, both, a person go out to the car to use a dictionary (I actually didn’t pull this one. This person was aware of their weakness and worked harder on that application trying to fix it than most people do on an exam. It was obviously important to them.)  and a younger woman go out and hand it to, what must have been her mom, to fill out.

Sometimes an applicant, mostly girls, would hand in a lovely well written application, but then…then they turn around and as they walk away I get a rather glaring eyeful of their hot pink, bejeweled, G-String.

It was a butterfly, just in case you’re wondering.

I’ve ranted about appropriate dress before. I honestly don’t think a style of dress, piercings, or tattoos (barring anything offensive) should damage a person’s ability to land a job, BUT…

BUT, generally speaking a job requires the ability to be professional. And your G-String? That does not convey that ability. It conveys a lack of caring.

Do I want to dress in a suit and heels every day? No, but the job is important to me, so I do.

Do I want to get up early each day to fix my hair and make myself not look like I sleep the sleep of the dead? No, but the job is important to me, so I do.

Do I want to censor my language? No, but the job is important to me, so I do.

Generally speaking, if something is important to you  then you will put forth effort that you normally wouldn’t/would prefer not to.

Naturally, I’m a laid back chill person. Tights are not the accessories of the laid back chill person, but if I go into a job and they say tights are a requirement?

Well, I’m probably gonna lose a lot of money in tights because I fail horribly at wearing them, but I will. I’ll pack me a damn “emergency tights” duffel bag to keep in my car for when I inevitably snag them on my heel, or nail, or ring, or when the air just looks at them and they suddenly burst seam to seam.

It’s just what you do.

Man, I really hope I find a job soon.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Valerie
    Jan 21, 2013 @ 20:30:01

    My mother in law was just laid off. I think she’s going mad. Today she called me at work to tell me about some kitten she saw on the news. Then she hung up on me.

    I wish you the best of luck!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Reply

  2. nosleepandcrazy
    Jan 22, 2013 @ 01:32:37

    The whole over qualified thing has always baffled me. I mean, if you apply for one that is something you can do with a blindfold and hands behind your back, the whole applying part should mean something to them. Could it be, you want the job? I mean I do not personally know anyone who gets up every day at their perfect challenging job ans say to themselves, maybe I will apply for a job I do not need because I could use a good, “You are over qualified” rant from so and so job.

    Reply

  3. normalfornorfolkblog
    Jan 22, 2013 @ 11:13:13

    Yes you are right nosleepandcrazy, but from the point of view from an employer, you always have at the back of your mind that it’s a ‘will do for now’ job. Sadly, I have had to think this way when taking on staff. Sometimes it isn’t worth investing the time and money training staff only to have to do it again in 6 months time when they move on to something else. Stick at it psychofab, you only need one yes and I am sure you will get it soon. big hugs. 🙂

    Reply

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