So…Birth Control Sucks

So I’ve discovered something. Something which could possibly be great, but also inconvenient.

Birth control fucking hates me.

Not taking any medication, as I’ve explained before, is a deeply personal choice I’ve made based off the fact that so far every drug I’ve tried has made me suicidal. Making this decision means that I must dedicate myself to finding other ways to stabilize myself when things get rough and the world feels disconnected. Different things work for different people, but a big thing that’s always recommended is tracking your moods in a journal.

I do this. And I’ve noticed something. The week I don’t have my birth control in me, when the hormones being pumped into my system are less….my mood stabilizes.

So I did a test.

I went off birth control for a couple months.

Inconvenient….yes. Since I don’t plan on pumping a baby out any time soon, going off birth control required condoms and spermicide. and by condoms I mean the non-latex, since I’m allergic, twice as fucking expensive kind. Not cool condom industry.

But it was so worth it. For two months, even my lows were like nothing, in comparison to what they usually are. I didn’t have a single, hyperventilate and cry in the car on the way home day. Not. One.

Unfortunately, there’s not many non-hormonal options for birth control other than the aforementioned expensive ass condoms. And it’s just too big a risk to take right now. I’m going back to school.

Yeah, i conquered that fear in my two months of non-depression. I got into Bellarmine, signed up to kick some Bachelor’s degree ass.

And my gyno…not so open minded.

So I’m back on it. Shocker, the insane mood swings have picked back up. So….armed with the knowledge that  it does make a huge impact on my life, I’m looking for a doctor who will fucking listen.

Something to think about for those struggling despite all the other measures you’ve taken.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Courtney
    May 12, 2014 @ 10:09:25

    To hell with your gyno. What reasoning could they possibly offer for staying on something that is making you sick? That you might get pregnant? How on earth do they justify the benefits against the cost?

    Did he/she even offer to try changing to a lower dose pill to see if that helped? Or did they just insist that you needed to stay on your current pill, regardless of what it’s doing to you mentally?

    Doctors who don’t listen are a pet peeve of mine. Don’t put up with that shit. Find a new doctor, and let the old one know EXACTLY why you’re leaving. Good luck with finding a new doctor and an alternative birth control that doesn’t make your health worse, not better.

    Keep us posted!


  2. flyingplatypi
    May 20, 2014 @ 22:10:19

    I think there’s a non-hormonal iud. It’s the copper one. Maybe that would help?




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