Which are you?

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Do you usually find yourself being one of the blue pens or the red pen?

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If Office Supplies Had Mental Disorders

I get bored easily. That’s about the only explanation for this.20130131-110530.jpg

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20130131-110549.jpgSo, what mental disorders does your stuff have?

We’ve All Felt It.

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Sometimes I Weird Myself Out

Have you ever been doing something and stopped for a moment to wonder what it would be like if the objects you used every day actually had personalities and thoughts?

Probably not, because you’re probably far more normal than I am.

BUT, that doesn’t change the fact that inanimate objects having personalities could lead to terribly awkward situations.

What if your keyboard has a bad headache that day? Man you’re an asshole for finishing that ten page essay.

What if your pens are all huge perverts, and by using them your basically giving them a really drawn out (haha, puns!) handjob?

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What if your earbuds are actually living organisms that feed solely on your ear wax and those weird crusty bits that form when you don’t get all of the shampoo out of your ear?

I think maybe I’m just going to sit with my hands in my lap and not move or touch anything for the next day or so.

Do any of you ever over think things like this?

Did You Just Pee on Me?

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My sister once told me a story involving her es-husband. Upon awakening to a creepily warm substance oozing onto her back she beleived she had been pee’d upon.  Her then-husband piped up that he had not pee’d on her, but that he was dreaming about her.

I have to ask.

What man in their right mind would say anything different?

Wait…Why is 69 Perverted?

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Do Paperclips Get Boners?

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